Mind over Matter

Good Afternoon!

Thanks to all of you who have given me such great advice about my back. I've struggled with this pain since college. It comes and goes and it's never related to anything specific. Some of you mentioned back pain being related to tension in our lives and you have given me a new thought process toward my healing in regards to my back. I can't wait to pick up some of these books you all have recommended and learn how to defeat this beast in me. 

I have a really awesome husband who is so gracious and loving and forgiving and long suffering. With what little time he has been around, he has made it a priority to work through things with me and help me release a lot of the garbage I have. Oh, and he's been giving me some really awesome back massages! Anyway, when you spend years of your life in survival mode because of deployments and separations and you have children and you have to work and take care of everything (how many of you can relate?), it's far too easy to lose track of yourself. Women (whether military or not) bear a lot of weight for the health and happiness of their families, but too often, we lose our ourselves in the process. Our identities get muddled and when we do have time alone, we are too exhausted to focus on anything that's really meaningful so we lose ourselves in something that gratifies us without us having to give much effort in return. You know, like food or TV or a novel or sometimes things even darker. 

Moving here was a fresh start for our family. It meant I could stay home and take a hiatus. Things have been running smoothly, but with all this extra time on my hands...I've had a lot of time to face the things in my life that I've been stuffing over the years for the sake of sheer survival. Even if you don't go looking for them, they'll find a way to show up. As these things have surfaced, coincidentally so has my back pain. Hmmmm....clearly, there is a link. Unfortunately, there is no supplement or exercise regime that make issues of the soul go away.

The back pain is discouraging, but I've been through enough in life to know that this too shall pass. And if I face my personal struggles, bring them to God, and work through them with the people I love, then I can experience freedom and growth that puts me in a place better than I was before. 

As far as the back pain goes, I'll be heading to the library today to look for this book

Thank you, Shari, for recommending this book. I have every reason in the world to trust your judgement and respect your advice. 

And Kristi and others who have reminded me that the most important thing is to smile and stay positive, you are absolutely right. I will not let this get in the way of happiness. Yesterday, I made sure to tell my girls I love them every 5 minutes. They were getting annoyed, but it helped me change my negative thoughts and do something good for them.

You know...I hesitate to blog about this stuff because I don't want my struggles to discredit what I believe and promote. But the truth is...I'm flawed just like everyone else and achieving wellness is a learning process for me just like everyone else. 

The exciting news is that I'm going back to school! I'm working with the Army to get my NASM certification in personal training, fitness nutrition, and corrective exercise. Pray I get approved for funding. And in about 20 mins I have an appointment with an advisor to look at finishing my education in health and wellness. I'm tempted to get a bachelors in alternative and complimentary health, but it's probably best for me to find a way to finish the fastest!!

We'll See. I'll keep you posted. Seriously. After this post...I'm back on track with the educational stuff. No more whining! ;)